Defense Awareness Response Training | Dedicated to Violence Prevention Training

February is Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month. It is important for parents and students to know what relationship violence is, how it impacts our youth and what resources are available to help. The Defense Awareness Response Training (DART) organization has developed a healthy relationships and teen dating violence prevention program called DateSmart (see information below). It started over 15 years ago.

Types of Dating Violence

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC, 2019) identifies four types of teen dating violence and defines them as follows:

Physical dating violence: refers to when a person “hurts or tries to hurt a partner by hitting, kicking, or using another type of physical force.”
Sexual dating violence: refers to “forcing or attempting to force a partner to take part in a sex act, sexual touching, or a nonphysical sexual event (e.g., sexting) when the partner does not or cannot consent.”
Psychological aggression: refers to “the use of verbal and nonverbal communication with the intent to harm another person mentally or emotionally and/or exert control over another person.”
Stalking: refers to “a pattern of repeated, unwanted attention and contact by a partner that causes fear or concern for one’s own safety or the safety of someone close to the victim.”

In addition, a newer form of dating violence, cyber dating abuse, involves “the use of technology to control, harass, threaten, or stalk another person in the context of a dating relationship” (Dick et al., 2014: 1561). Some examples are pressuring partners to send a sexual/naked photo of themselves, spreading rumors by text or other messaging platforms, making partners afraid when they do not respond to a text or message, and harassing partners by using information from a social networking site (Zweig et al., 2013).

Another term used by researchers is digital dating abuse, which is a “pattern of behaviors using mobile phones and social media to harass, pressure, coerce, and threaten a dating partner” (Reed et al., 2021). Researchers also have used the terms technology-assisted adolescent dating violence (Stonard, 2020) and electronic aggression (Bennett et al., 2011).

Statistics

In one nationally representative study of young people ages 14 to 21, 51% of females and 43% of males reported being victims of at least one type of dating violence, while 50% of females and 35% of males reported perpetrating at least one type (Ybarra, M. L., et al., Archives of Sexual Behavior, Vol. 45, 2016).
1 in 4 teens will experience some form of abuse in their dating relationship by age 18
20% between the ages of 11-14 say their friends are victims of dating violence
62% of all tweens in relationships say they know friends who are verbally abused
40% of teenage girls age 14 to 17 reported knowing someone their age who has been hit or beaten by a boyfriend.
Nearly 25% of 14-17-year-olds surveyed knows at least one student who was a victim of dating violence, while 11% know multiple victims of dating violence. 33% of teens have actually witnessed such an event.

Warning Signs For Parents That Your Child Might Be In An Abusive Relationship

Victim

✓ Bruises and other physical signs of injury
✓ Crying
✓ Changes in behavior and mood - seems to be “down” or depressed
✓ Changes in the way they dress
✓ More frequent isolation from other friends and family
✓ Failing grades
✓ Truancy or dropping out of school
✓ Emotional outbursts
✓ Less participation in activities outside of the relationship
✓ Trouble making decisions
✓ Seems to be afraid of partner and asks you not to mention certain things to partner
✓ Dating partner calls or text messages constantly and demands to know what your child is doing

Abuser

✓ Checks partner’s cell phone or email without permission
✓ Constantly putting partner down
✓ Extreme jealousy or insecurity
✓ Explosive temper
✓ Isolating partner from family or friends
✓ Making false accusations
✓ Mood swings
✓ Physically hurting partner in any way
✓ Possessiveness
✓ Telling partner what to do
✓ Has abused a dating partner in the past

Resources for Help

School Counselor
LoveIsRespect.org (information & 3-7pm daily, online chat)
safe2tell.org
The Center for the Prevention of Domestic Violence –719-633-3819
National Domestic Violence Hotline, NDVH.org, 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)
National Teen Dating Abuse Hotline – 1-866-331-9474

DART offers DateSmart, a free, schedule-accommodating 3-hour workshop specifically intended for 8th grade middle school youth. A one-hour version is also available. Using highly interactive small- and large-group discussions, activities, role plays, and media components, DateSmart instructors help students:

Understand the differences between healthy and unhealthy relationships
Recognize patterns and behaviors related to dating violence
Learn appropriate responses to potential dating violence situations
Understand how to help a friend
Know where they can go for help
Understand the role technology plays in dating abuse

DART’s Resources Section has many valuable resources that can help organizations develop violence prevention strategies, including verbal de-escalation. If your organization is interested in DART's DateSmart Training, click here.